I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
