CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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