omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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