He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
