Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
