how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
