Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
