i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
