I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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