Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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