i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
