After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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