I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
