i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
