why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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