Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
