I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
