Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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