I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
