NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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