I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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