I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
