so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
