Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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