He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
