i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
