So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
