I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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