is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
