Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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