So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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