i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
