i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
