You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
