Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
