The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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