youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
