I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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