You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
