And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
