Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My life is pants optional.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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