The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
