Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
