i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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