Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
