he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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