JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
