Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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