Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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