idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
