A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
