You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You pole danced in your parka.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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