i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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